One of lifes lessons

The place to find and post your jokes... Typically uncensored !!
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veitnamcam
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby veitnamcam » Thu Jul 30, 2015 6:31 pm

I especially enjoyed the last one :lol:
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Rushy
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Rushy » Thu Jul 30, 2015 7:14 pm

I am hoping you are copying and pasting Driverman, that is a shit load to have typed. Enjoyed them to.
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Gibo
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Gibo » Thu Jul 30, 2015 9:48 pm

All very good
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Scribe
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Scribe » Fri Jul 31, 2015 10:04 am

Rushy wrote:I am hoping you are copying and pasting Driverman, that is a shit load to have typed. Enjoyed them to.


No I don't think he is 'Rushy' I see he has used the Mangaweka's in one joke.
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Dundee
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Dundee » Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:17 pm

An Afghanistan diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The diplomat was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty handed. "Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the diplomat.
"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "But a man is sitting on the well!"
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Dundee
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Dundee » Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:50 pm

Fonterra announcement.... based on current commodity prices around the world we are pleased to announce that next years forecast payout is similar to a cheap hooker standing on your local street corner. Whatever the price is you are screwed.....the advance will only get you a slow handjob and the dividend is likely to make you impotent. We at Fonterra support our farmers in every way and offer 6 months interest free terms for all suppliers. We realise that most of you will not be farming In seven months so are confident of this sound offer. Please don't blame us as this is a result of the Chinese buying to many houses in Auckland and not enough milk. Happy black Friday.
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Rushy
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Rushy » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:06 am

At least you have your sense of humour Dundee.
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Driverman
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Driverman » Sat Aug 08, 2015 9:45 am

Time to cut most of the million dollar salaries to the boys. I wonder how many performance bonus's will still get paid,all I would say.
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Dundee
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Dundee » Sat Aug 08, 2015 5:54 pm

Ha Ha Good Boy!!
Image
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Dundee
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Re: One of lifes lessons

Postby Dundee » Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:34 pm

An old woman was asked, “at your ripe age, what would you prefer to get, Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?" The wise lady answered, "Definitely Parkinson's ~ better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep the bottle. :D
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