Funnys

The place to find and post your jokes... Typically uncensored !!
Dundee
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Re: Funnys

Postby Dundee » Fri May 22, 2015 8:24 pm

He didn't hesitate in the last few seconds :lol:
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dynastar27
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Re: Funnys

Postby dynastar27 » Mon May 25, 2015 1:35 pm

Image
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veitnamcam
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Re: Funnys

Postby veitnamcam » Mon May 25, 2015 7:05 pm

Like
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Driverman
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Re: Funnys

Postby Driverman » Sat Jun 06, 2015 11:26 pm

Stateside

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female

sheriff’s deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, who was

fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at

the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and

lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.



The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a

drinking session when he decided to stop. “You know how a pumpkin is soft and

squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought

there was no one around,” he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over

to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to

his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.

“Guess I was really into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.



In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching

sheriff’s car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor

approached him. “It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure," said Deputy

Taylor. “I walked up to Lawrence, and he's just humping away at this pumpkin."



Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

“I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a

pumpkin?’ He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he

looked me straight in the face and said,




"A pumpkin? Shit… is it midnight already?’”



The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter.. Lawrence was found

guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10, and sent on his way.




The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best comeback line

ever."
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veitnamcam
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Re: Funnys

Postby veitnamcam » Sun Jun 07, 2015 9:31 am

Good one :lol:
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Driverman
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Re: Funnys

Postby Driverman » Sun Jun 07, 2015 6:46 pm

Beer
This guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex.

"Doc, I think my dick is just too damn small," he says.

The doctor asks him which drink he prefers.

Well, Waikato beer," he replies quite bemused.

"Aa haa. There's your problem, it really shrinks things, that beers known for it.. you should try drinking Lion. Lions the beer for men . Red or Brown is

just bloody great and it makes things grow."

Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face.

He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him.

"I take it you now drink Lion?" asked the doctor.

"Oh no, Doc," replies the man, "but I've got the wife on Waikato!"
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veitnamcam
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Re: Funnys

Postby veitnamcam » Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:01 pm

I might have to try that :D I wonder if it can be imported?

My luck it would only shrink her chest :roll:
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Gapped Axe
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Re: Funnys

Postby Gapped Axe » Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:02 pm

fuck we need a like button
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Rushy
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Re: Funnys

Postby Rushy » Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:38 pm

Gapped Axe wrote:fuck we need a like button

Yup.
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veitnamcam
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Re: RE: Re: Funnys

Postby veitnamcam » Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:53 am

Rushy wrote:[quote="Gapped Axe"]fuck we need a like button

Yup.[/quote]
You wouldn't use it anyway :D
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