Funnys

The place to find and post your jokes... Typically uncensored !!
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Scribe
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Re: Funnys

Postby Scribe » Thu Jul 14, 2016 8:29 am

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Happy
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Re: Funnys

Postby Happy » Tue Jul 26, 2016 11:28 am

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Re: Funnys

Postby Happy » Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:31 pm

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Re: Funnys

Postby Happy » Sun Jul 31, 2016 2:13 pm

An Irishman, named Mick, takes part in a TV quiz show.
His first question was; what two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
He thought for a moment and then gave his answer - "Today and Tomorrow".
The quizmaster was rather taken aback by this and had to call in the adjudicator who said that Mick was indeed correct even though that particular answer was not on the answer sheet.
His second question was; “How many seconds are there in a year?”
Almost immediately Mick answered "12".
"How on earth can there be only 12?" asked the question master.
"Easy" says Mick - "2nd of January, 2nd of February, 2nd of March and so on".
Once again the adjudicator was called and once again he said that Mick was indeed correct.
Now, his third and final question was; “What was the name of the swagman in the song "Waltzing Matilda?”
Mick, silently went through the words of the song in his head.
"It's Andy", he said.
"OK", said the question master, "Please tell us how you have reached that answer".
So Mick began to sing;-
“Once a jolly swagman sat by a billabong under the shade of a koolabar tree
ANDY sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled
You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.”
Good old Mick went home with a £5,000 cheque.
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Happy
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Re: Funnys

Postby Happy » Sun Aug 07, 2016 2:54 pm

WARNING TO DRIVERS
I just filled the car up with petrol didn't notice i'd spilled some on my sleeve, going down the motorway lit a ciggi and sleeve burst into flames, opened the window and stuck my arm out to try and blow out the flames and the bloody coppers stopped me and are now doing me for having a fire arm without a licence ....:)
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Re: Funnys

Postby pengy » Sun Aug 14, 2016 10:57 pm

I heard that one when I was six and three quarters :D
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Re: Funnys

Postby Happy » Fri Sep 30, 2016 9:46 am

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Re: Funnys

Postby Scribe » Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:43 pm

Anyone seen the sun?. Its been missing from the Coromandel this whole month.

We have some Aussie punters arriving Saturday just in time for more rain. God knows what they will think of this gloomy spot.

We will at least be able to tell them on Sunday that the rain they are enjoying is the big storm that has blown over the Tasman from Adelaide.

Meanwhile the whitebait pour up our river unmolested by man or beast.
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Re: Funnys

Postby Happy » Fri Sep 30, 2016 10:24 pm

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