Little Johnny's Pad

The place to find and post your jokes... Typically uncensored !!
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P38
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Re: Little Johnny's Pad

Postby P38 » Mon May 18, 2015 7:20 pm

A teacher says to her class, "Okay, class, today we're going to be talking about the tenses.
"Now if I say 'I'm beautiful,' which tense is it?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, "Obviously it is the past tense, Miss."
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P38
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Re: Little Johnny's Pad

Postby P38 » Mon May 18, 2015 7:30 pm

Little Johnny is asked by his teacher: "What is the most wonderful thing in life for you?"

"Well, sir," says Johnny, "when I think about it, the most wonderful thing in life for me is a pretty girl with big tits and a wet pussy."

The teacher is infuriated and writes a note that Little Johnny has to give to his father.

The next day, the teacher asks: "So, Johnny, what did your daddy say?"

"Well, sir," says Johnny, "we sat down in the living room and drank an espresso, read your note and talked, then we poured ourselves a cognac, smoked a joint and talked some more.

In the end, we decided you must be a fucking poofter."
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Dundee
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Re: Little Johnny's Pad

Postby Dundee » Tue May 26, 2015 10:44 pm

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.
His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues.
'Johnny!' Mom screams. 'Knock it off.' You're going to break something.
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store.
He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.
Mom comes in and while putting away the grocer,y gets the urge.
It's a diarrhea run!!!
She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet!
She calls her doctor.
The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.
Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP!
The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere.
It's on him, the walls, etc.
'Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?' she asks.
He says, 'I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !'"
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P38
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Re: Little Johnny's Pad

Postby P38 » Wed May 27, 2015 6:25 pm

Little Johnny asks, "Mummy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
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