Once or twice every two or three years me and the midget get asked to come clean up a heap of pigeons and peacocks on a mates flash Harry equine establishment
Don't kill them all and don't shoot the horses is the cry Magpies Pigeons and a massive gully full of peacocks is the target species.
So we get there have a hack ,get told don't worry about the horses if you get a chance go for it . Oh you might see some fallow deer in the gully they are beautiful big fat bitches.
Farm in the middle of miles to any bush. Oh yeah where have they come from. Dunno .
We headed off up the back to target the Peacocks. The problem with the peacocks is when the feed bins are filled for the foals the peacocks own them. They pile into it and chase the foals away . No problem but these are 20 to 50 k foals.
So away we go up the hill. 1 Ar and not much else beautiful sunny last Sunday arvo.
We see said peacocks think this lol be easy and head up the valley. The smart bastards start de bunking at a speed just quicker than the fat boys . No problem we will.get in the bush stalk them with our superior skills and pop a few. Yeah this will learn them.
Around 45 mins later and hearing them all around us without seeing one at all after getting wet feet, slip sliding down the gully, crossing sides in full stealth mode, freezing on the spot, listening till all you hear is your heart,we see not one but they are everywhere.
Like trying to figure out who farted in the picture theatre then FFS we sneak round a corner and here's two of the fattest Fallow Hinds standing looking at us like where the fuck did you come from. They froze . We froze . We didn't even believe they were there and had privately said yeah right and laughed at the mention of their presence then breaking the stunned silence Midget said. Do I shoot them . It seemed like hours but my brain finally said. We don't have the go ahead on this from the land owner.
Time it came to that they felt comfortable enough to stroll to the fence line and exit stage left.no hurry just silly humans looking at us. Boy we scared the shit outa them dopes...
So we recompose and figure No worries lets cane up these bloody cheeky peacocks.
We wonder up the gully see nothing then I say what's that up in that fence line ahead.
There you go another hind sound asleep snoring it's fucking face off asleep and had no idea we existed walk up closer and closer it wakes looks at us and quietly just wanders away.
Feeling sick it was time to go have a crack at target pigeons. We de bunk go down stairs and shot 30 to 40 over next couple of hours .
Great shotgun shooting some awesome long shots and stupid at the end of barrel shots. Just cleaning up couple hours later and Scotty the owner turns up with a beer. How'd you get own? Yep good heap pigeons no peacocks.
What thought you'd have got some long distance on then you useless pair ?.ha ha!
Yes we are Scotty but they re tricky Scotty we could have shot three fallow easier than one of them !! We didn't cos were unsure if you guys liked to see them and we hadn't t discussed it at all.
You two are a useless pair of wankers ha ha ha Should have shot them all ha ha ha .
Funny bastard that Scotty ! Sometimes you just can't win
We hope to have the last laugh in a few weeks when round two raises its head (I hope )
. Some Piggys
